Thanks to Rachel for this contribution. It has been edited and posted with her permission.
Rachel wrote:
Ever since I can remember I have had spanking fantasies and as the years have gone by they have got more extreme. And so on turning 30, after a few half-hearted experiences with boyfriends, I decided to get involved with the spanking and BDSM scene.
My main fantasy was being taken by a strong man and spanked. I mean really spanked with paddles and maybe followed up with a whipping or the cane. There are always others there, mostly women who are enjoying my submission and in my fantasy I never enjoy it.
I need to be spanked or caned until I am begging and can’t take anymore and then he will whisper, “We have only just got started.”
I realised that this kind of thing probably doesn’t happen for real and even if it did, it would need a level of trust that would be hard to find. At some of the clubs I went to, I saw women spanked until bottoms were red, but it was all pretty tame. I even said so.
Then I met ‘Gloria’ a professional dominatrix and she invited me back to her flat. I didn’t go at first, I was too scared I think, being new to the scene, but after a few times and many months I finally did.
I told her my fantasies and what I thought about the ‘play scene’ and she agreed, but she also said I was very rude.
This led to a genuine scolding and finally I had got a real bare bottom spanking over her knee until I was good and sorry and really crying. I hated it, but here is the thing, I loved hating it.
But it still wasn’t what I was after, but I was too scared or polite to say.
As months went by I saw a couple of session with her (and had a few more spankings) and all the ones with girls were pretty tame.
Then I saw one of her sessions with a man. It was his thing to have another woman watching apparently and I was curious.
It was not really my thing but I did notice that it was a very intense and heavy scene far beyond any I had yet seen. I asked why it was that the male sessions were harder than the female ones.
I was told that was what they asked for.
Finally I got up the courage to point out to Gloria that I had asked for it to, but she had been so tough with me.
“Are you saying I don’t spank you hard enough?” She was offended I think.
It was hard to explain but finally she suggested that we do a really heavy scene, but that I would have to think about it for a couple of weeks first. I can’t tell you how excited I was.
Finally the day came and I went around to her flat.
The first thing she did was spank me harder than I have ever been spanked before. I couldn’t stop crying and by the end I kept saying I was sorry for, well just about everything.
Then she put me in the corner in handcuffs and pretty much left me there.
Later on she had me bend over this padded bench thing with my bum sticking up. I had had the cane before, but not like this. It felt like cuts and after about four or five I was yelling and crying for real.
Not only didn’t she stop, but she made me ask and beg for more. On and on it went until I said I would do anything.
I am not a lesbian, but you can imagine what ‘anything’ consisted of. Well you probably can’t, it was pretty full on and she explored some fairly extreme BDSM stuff with me as well as the obvious. She really loved it, having a submissive hetro girl and she really made the most of it. I really got off on the submission of it, I can’t explain. Not properly.
I stayed the night with her and on Sunday afternoon before I left, she gave me another spanking with a strap thing that really hurt and left me unable to sit easily. The marks lasted ages.
The next time I saw her she asked if that was what I wanted and I said it was.
After that I got more of the same about once a month and she introduced me to a couple of guys, which was more my thing. I even got a serious birching from a man I had to call uncle. I swear it felt like my bum had been sandblasted during and afterwards, and I think I cried for about an hour. I felt so clean. Like my soul had been purged.
This was five years ago and I have my own man now. It is harder to make me cry these days, but about once a month he manages it.
Thanks for your blog and for letting me tell my story.
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Thank you Rachel.
